Hello my faithful readers,
I have decided to take a hiatus from my degree for a while, until I get some personal stuff under control. As a result, I have requested to defer my practicum until next year (or maybe even the year after.)
I do not make this decision lightly. In the last six weeks, more and more “stuff” has come to light that leads me to believe that I need to do some significant work on past experiences that have marked me and affected my ability to be present for my clients. The last thing I want to do is to run the risk of not being able to connect with them, and perhaps even harming myself by continuing to put my “stuff” on the back burner (which in turn, would harm them!)
I am sorry that I don’t have any pithy sayings or clever metaphors today. A large part of me is grieving the loss / postponement of a cherished dream. I am feeling embarrassed and angry at myself (among other things) for the situation of me being locked into a lease and paying rent on top of my mortgage in my home province, when the whole reason for me moving here was for a practicum that I no longer have.
I know that there are options open to me, and I am starting to avail myself of them, but even thinking about them is another reminder of that loss. So, I am trying to be gentle with myself and take these tasks in small bits.
Over the next while, I plan to find someone to sublet the apartment until my lease runs out, and get moved back to my home province ASAP so that I can put some measures in place to better prepare myself for the next time … if there is a next time.
Thank you once more for brightening my days when you like or comment on my posts.