I finished my Assessments course! Even though the marks are not finalized yet, I have received my marks for the last assignment and so was able to calculate my final grade – which allows me to keep my 4.0 GPA. (What a relief!) I learned a lot … not sure if I’ll ever use it, but time will tell … And now I have all my prerequisites to take my practicum course in September, which will run concurrently with my practicum.
I am back to work. It is tiring after being away for about six weeks, but I am adjusting to the routine and the changes (some of them huge) since I left.
My move to my apartment is set for Labour Day. Between now and then, I have to meet some delivery people who will deliver and assemble my bedroom and dining room furniture at my apartment. (Even though I don’t have a dining room, I have to eat somewhere.) That delivery is set for August 11, less than a week away. I have to get some furniture from home ready for transport, pack up some clothes, and make full use of this trip … because after this, I will not have the luxury of counting on my husband. He will have surgery on August 16th to repair a torn bicep (torn a couple of years ago). So under doctor’s orders, he will not be able to even use that arm for six weeks afterward. (Of course it WOULD be his dominant arm.)
So for me, this is a time to plan, schedule, and get myself ready for the final move. I feel as though I am crouched on the starting line, as if someone has said, “On your marks….” and I am getting ready for that same someone to say “get set” and “GO!” Settling down into the starting blocks, making sure I am well-seated and that there are no obstructions, is a good illustration of what I am experiencing.
I have been in training for this part of my journey for the last few years … spending tens of thousands of dollars on tuition, and investing thousands of hours reading, studying, and doing assignments. In fact, when I am between courses, I sometimes am not sure what to do with myself! Twice I have had to fly to Alberta to attend intensive training for this or that course. And I will need to do that twice more before I am done my practicum. The members of my team (composed of my family, friends, classmates, co-workers, and counsellor) have been around me, supporting, taking up the slack when I am not available to do housework, cooking, and interacting with others except from behind a computer screen. I have called in special help from time to time, learning how to make self-care a priority, slowly learning to put myself on my people-to-take-care-of list. I kind of suck at it – but it’s better than it was. (Baby steps.) And I am learning to be kind to myself when I mess up, which I do … a LOT.
Being “on my mark”, poised for action, I tend to focus more on the goal ahead and disregard distractions around me. So, I am busy making lists, schedules, and more lists and schedules for this or that facet of the move to my apartment. Part of today’s schedule is cleaning out my living room end-table that I will be taking to the apartment to put in my living room alongside my comfy chair. Another part of today’s schedule is choosing some clothing from my dresser and my closet to take over there and put in my incoming dresser and my closet (which already has hangers in it from the last trip) so I will have clothing ready for me to wear when I move on September 3rd.
I even have a schedule and a plan for transferring my plants (from my office AND my home) to the apartment. There must be about a dozen of them or more. My plants are my friends; they clean my air for me. I want to take good care of them in return. Seriously, they help purify the air I breathe, which is great when you have multiple chemical sensitivities like I do. They are so much a part of my everyday that I have named them according to their type or their ‘personality’ – like Philomena my philodendron, for example. She’s phriendly (haha).
Then there are my electronics from work. I am planning to take vacation in September to allow myself time to get used to my schedule at my practicum and then add in my paid work time once my practicum schedule is well-established. So I will be able to be back and forth between the provinces on my “days off” and one of those trips will be to pick up my teleworking materials (laptop, cell phone, keyboard, mouse) and my office chair.
Thinking about these small things in advance helps me to get my head around the changes in a way that is manageable for me. I can go through them in my head, and then they don’t seem so overwhelming when they are actually playing out. I can know where everything is going, and when, and then put it to rest in my mind. Otherwise, the little hamster on my mental exercise wheel wakes me suddenly at 3 a.m. thinking about some little detail I forgot to consider. (Okay, that happens anyway, but at least it’s less often.)
Getting myself prepared mentally is a necessary step for me. It helps me to settle down on my mark and be ready for the word go.